top of page

Why Sex Hurts

Updated: Apr 30

Why Does Sex Hurt

Pain with sex is very common, affecting at least 28% of the population (and probably more). but is actually not normal.

Believe it or not, you should be able to have pain free sex!

But many women who have previously sought medical treatment for this issue have been told they just need to "have a glass of wine" before intercourse.

Although I do love wine, this advice is ridiculous. Women should not expect to have to self-medicate to make sex tolerable.

There are many reasons for painful intercourse, and pelvic floor physical therapy should be at the top of the list for ways to fix it!

affecting at least 28% of the population (and probably more).

So why are women having pain with sex?

Here are a few reasons:

  1. Tight/tense/or spasming pelvic floor

  2. Scar tissue from birth or surgery

  3. Infection

  4. Vaginal atrophy/dryness due to decreased estrogen levels

Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy For Sex That Hurts

Pelvic floor physical therapy can help pain that is stemming from scar tissue or pelvic floor tension.

In order to allow for pain-free penetration, the pelvic floor has to be able to relax completely. Most women/humans who have a tight and tense pelvic floor don't even know this is the case, and therefore it's almost impossible to relax!

This issue is a very common reason for why sex hurts.

In pelvic floor physical therapy, we first evaluate the pelvic floor to find the underlying cause of the pain. I then coach women to gain awareness of this region.

But this is just one piece of the puzzle.

Our pelvic floor muscles require relaxation to achieve an orgasm, but that's not the entire story.

Unlike the intimacy that is commonly displayed in the media, women require an adequate warm-up in order to properly enjoy sex.

Warming Up

Women need their OWN warm up prior to insertion in order to ensure adequate blood flow to the perineum and production of self-lubrication.

I often tell my moms to achieve a full clitoral orgasm before inserting anything vaginally. This ensures the sexual satisfaction of the woman as well as prepares her body for sex.

Your partner can help you to achieve this orgasm, or not.

You learning how to do it yourself is even more important than your partner's ability to perform.

Carving out regular masturbation time is incredibly important for women. Exploring, connecting and learning your what your body likes and doesn't like will infinitely improve your sex life by helping you direct your partner, voice your preferences, and therefore decrease pain and discomfort.


Pain with sex is frequently the result of tight and tense pelvic floor muscles, and is best addressed by pelvic floor physical therapy.

Learning how to decrease tension in your pelvic floor will improve your ability to achieve orgasm and have pain free insertion.

Reaching orgasm prior to penetration can be helpful in reducing pain with sex.

Regular masturbation is important for women to understand their preferences and communicate them to their partner!

If you're struggling with painful sex, make sure you book an appointment today!

Click here to schedule with us!

Not local to Albuquerque? You can still get help. Click here for my online Pelvic Health Coaching Program!

Want to learn more about your pelvic floor or find out if pelvic floor physical therapy is for you? Make sure you check out our blog The Ultimate Guide to Know If Pelvic Floor PT is For You.

90 views0 comments


bottom of page